Mother Founders and the cost of being a Mummy in the Startup World

Let’s be honest. The “motherhood penalty” is more than just a buzzword. It’s harsh reality — a bias that costs women financially, professionally, and emotionally.

I asked Harriet my 9 year old to draw me a picture when I said the words Entrepreneur and Scaleup. It was half term last week so I don’t usually subject her to be part of daddies terrible blogs. The picture is what she came up with. We had a chat about having your own business and she came up with some observations that got me thinking about how Female founders are almost scared to tell investors , teams that they might at some point want to have a family. We should be in a world where it doesnt matter frankly, no ones business but sadly we are not there yet.

The numbers don’t lie. Mothers earn significantly less than fathers and childless women, even when experience and qualifications are equal. Theye a wall of stereotypes: that we’re less committed, less capable, less flexible. But is that who we truly are?

Let’s talk about the invisible work of motherhood. Those countless hours of planning, caregiving, and emotional support that aren’t reflected on a resume. For so many parents, especially mothers, that sense of responsibility never switches off. Yet, some colleagues may view the inevitable challenges — a sick child, an unexpected school closure — as a lack of dedication. And you might be reading this and going “Well they knew what they were getting into”. Thing is you don’t, people told me my life would never be the same once I became known as always being someones daddy.

And what about flexible working? It’s often dismissed as a perk when in reality it’s a lifeline. Flexibility helps working parents thrive. It shows us that our companies believe in the value we bring, regardless of whether we’re in the office from 9 to 5 every day. For women founders, this support becomes even more vital. Those navigating IVF or other fertility journeys face immense physical and emotional demands. Boards and shareholders need to recognize this — even if such matters are private — and create environments where success and parenthood aren’t seen as opposing forces. Let’s remember, the determination it takes to navigate these challenges fuels incredible professional strength.

Beyond this, there’s a shadow many don’t see — women founders who grapple with infertility. Trying to build a business under the immense pressure of IVF or other treatments is nothing short of extraordinary. This resilience speaks to deep determination, not a lack of focus. Harriet was the product of numeorus IVF process and I can tell you now that any ladies out there who are a founder and having to inject themselves for a number or weeks or squirt that stuff up your nose, you have my 110% admiration. Let alone the rest of the process that all hinges on one date. But how many boards, shareholders actually are ‘really’ aware of what the founder might be going through.

Shifting Risk Tolerance

Moreover, it’s worth acknowledging that for many women, risk tolerance may naturally shift after becoming a parent. This isn’t weakness; it’s an evolution of priorities. Understanding this can help investors and leadership avoid interpreting measured decision-making as a loss of ambition. Founders are in this for the long-term — a perspective deeply valuable as companies seek sustainability alongside agility.

The motherhood penalty isn’t just unfair; it’s costly for businesses too. We lose out on talented women who hit a glass ceiling instead of rising through the ranks. There are solutions here:

• Challenging Workplace Norms: Stop equating long hours with productivity. Value results over “face time.”
• Supportive Policies: Provide paid parental leave, flexible options, and on-site childcare if possible.
• Empathetic leadership: Foster a culture where parents feel comfortable openly discussing their needs.

How can boards of directors better support company founders during fertility journeys?

• Proactive Openness: Create a culture where founders feel comfortable sharing fertility struggles without fear of reprisal. Lead by example with compassionate responses.
• Flexible Timelines: Understand that treatments might cause delays in project deliverables. Allow flexibility within reason, focusing on achieving targets rather than rigid deadlines.
• Financial Assistance: Explore offering partial coverage for treatments like IVF, demonstrating investment in the founder’s long-term health and wellbeing.
• Wellness Resources: Connect founders with confidential counseling, support groups, or fertility specialists in collaboration with HR, if possible.
• Destigmatization: Normalize fertility-focused conversations with resources at hand. Educate the board on emotional impacts and how to avoid insensitive comments or expectations.

What strategies can investors use to recognize and value the evolving strengths of parent-founders?

• Redefining Risk: Frame a parent-founder’s potential shift in risk tolerance positively. Emphasize long-term strategic thinking, the focus on sustainability, and their heightened awareness of calculated choices.
• Empathy as Insight: Recognize the enormous empathy parents develop; this translates into stronger understanding of customer needs, employee issues, and potential pain points a business can solve.
• Time Management Mastery: Parent-founders become experts in prioritization and maximizing efficiency amidst a busy life. Investors should value this skillset when assessing a founder’s leadership capabilities.
• Resilience and Drive: Navigating parenthood, especially alongside professional goals, fosters determination and unwavering belief in a company’s vision. Acknowledge this as a profound personal asset.
• Open Communication: Investors should proactively ask thoughtful questions about a founder’s evolving perspectives and needs for support as a parent, instead of solely focusing on company metrics.

When we support working parents, we don’t just support families — we unlock incredible potential. It’s time for empathy, understanding, and concrete action. It’s time to shatter the motherhood penalty once and for all.

Would love to see comments on this subject.

David Murray-Hundley

The Grumpy Entrepreneur